Young Highlander gets chlamydia to same Stereophonics tune he was conceived to at TRNSMT

An all body prophylactic being worn by a TRNSMT festival goer despite the heat

Darren Fraser, apprentice mechanic from Muir of Ord, is nursing more than a sore head after TRNSMT lived up to its name in his case.

As Welsh Brit-pop rockers Stereophonics played a song from their debut album, 1997’s Word Gets Around, Darren eyed up a sparkly faced care home assistant called Kheryll from Golspie, who he has 68 mutual friends with on Facebook. Darren proceeded to throw caution to the wind and not use protection, resulting in a developing case of Chlamydia, which luckily for Darren is displaying symptoms.

“To be honest with ye mun, I couldn’t get tics for the Sunday with Arctic Monkeys, so just went hell for leather on Friday and Saturday.  Caught sight of the lassie when Local Boy in the Photograph and the old man told me that was what he rode my mum to in the carpark at the Black Isle Show Dance 19 years ago so the mood got me.  Kind of regretting it now that I’m sitting in a packed train north, with my groin on fire and the toilets broken, and I’m nursin’ some warm cans of Kopparberg.”

“I was a bit worried I had something else as well, but it turned out it was just some of her glittery rhinestone that had got stuck down there. So that’s at least one less course of treatment I’ll need. It’s good to have something in common with someone anyway, so I’m meeting up with Kheryll at the Sutherland Show and will just wrap it next time.”

Sources close to the organisers of TRNSMT say that they  are delighted that the audience was so pissed that they never noticed that the line-up was pretty  past-it and hope to continue this next year. “We would ask people to use protection and drink responsibly, but hey it’s Glasgow and People make Glasgow! Jus’ dinnae be a pricks and climb the pylons next time ken.”