Trump to move US Embassy to Broadford

Diplomats around the world are working flatout to reduce the impact of yet another controversial Donald J. Trump decision. 

It is expected that the US President will today recognise Broadford as the capital of the Isle of Skye. This fulfils a promise he made repeatedly during his election campaign against Hillary Clinton last year.

Other countries have warned that this will greatly impact the fragile peace process in the Island, especially with controversy raging over the placement of a new hospital.

People of the occupied North End want an independent hospital in their historical capital Portree, and other countries such as Poland, China and North Uist all have their embassies in that town.

“This is the kiss of death to the two-hospital solution” said a spokesperson for NHS-PLO, the group which leads the struggle against the South End occupation, “The Donald has lit a fire which will not be extinguished.”

A White House spokesman said “The President is of the opinion that we are only reflecting reality on the ground anyway. That is where the hospital will be and that is where you get 24 hour petrol, in practicality, Broadford is the Island’s capital already.”

The embassy will not move instantly however, with no suitable place to build a new embassy yet. Himself took to Twitter to slate the state of public buildings in Broadford:

He also published a rare tweet in his mother tongue:

To uncolonize your mind and read this in Gaelic click here.