The P’n’J’s “Gaelic Gestapo” headline – One year on, The Daily Gael remembers.

One year ago, proud North-east Institution, The Press and Journal unveiled its now iconic front page which boldly stated “Gaelic Gestapo forcing Moray to spend £40k”

This story revealed to the world the shocking truth of Bòrd na Gàidhlig’s invasion of Moray Council.  The Daily Gael caught up with Les Hack of the P’n’J to catch up on how they broke the story.

‘When we mythbusted the ‘Aberdeen Man Lost At Sea’ Titanic headline a few years ago, we thought “Well, it’s good that the truth has finally been told, but where’s the iconic headline for the ages now?” Then we thought, if we can get some rocket councillors to make Gaelic speakers look like Nazis it will sell a few more copies and keep taxi drivers across the North het up.’ said Les.

“In the newsroom, there was a palpable sense of risk that we might peak with that headline, but nothing bonds useless print journalists and even more useless councillors than a cooked up story about the cost of Gaelic maliciously framed.”

Whilst the Press and Journal received several honorary Pulitzer Prizes for the story, day to day life for the citizens of Moray has been tough, with the wounds of the Gaelic invasion still to be seen.  Town centres throughout Moray are desolate and boarded up, with libraries closed and schools falling to bits.  Authorities are still searching for all the stolen Moray-shire gold, which may be hidden in accounts in neutral Nairn-shire and famous Keith painting “Tha fallen quine wi’ tha muckle paps” is still missing, last seen in a Cafe in New Elgin. Also Fionnlagh Strì still continues to operate with impunity, promoting Gaelic from his secret base at the Moray Language Centre in Buckie.

Elgin, one year on.

“The damage that spending 40 grand on Gaelic has been an equivalent hardship to that suffered by the Polish people in the Second War. We can’t even promote our most cherished cultural dialect, Doric. Well we can, and we could invest money in it if we really gave a shit about it, but then that would mean we couldn’t moan about Gaelic and use it to deflect from the fact we can’t do our jobs very well.” said one Councillor who refused to be named, but did admit to voting for the Dandy Lion sculpture in Elgin town centre.

Tinseltown has also taken an interest in this controversial part of recent Scottish history, with Gary Oldman set to play Councillor George Alexander, the man who bravely said Naw to the legal advice and the law of Scotland as enshrined in the Gaelic Language Act 2005. The Oscar winner said he saw parallels with Winston Churchill who he portrayed and got the Academy Award nod this year for Darkest Hour. “I see a lot of Winston in George.  In ‘Shivers Down My Spine’, we will see George’s journey from humble maths teacher to defender of Moray from Gaelic road-signs. I’d better get my acceptance speech ready.”

Fionnlagh Strì will be played by [Ubiquitous Gaelic character actor – name redacted after legal advice].  He will also play Rene Artois and Helga.