Cumberland Sausage, Tartan Wallopers; and we aren’t really sure where to start tbh.

With the Culloden Battlefield housing development going all cannons blazing like the Hanoverian artillery, developers Kirk Broadfoot Homes have decided to subcontract some of the surrounding controversy to local Community Counciller David McGrath.

With the release of possible street names for the bland suburban scheme on the edge of the scene of Bonnie Prince Charlie’s catclysmic defeat in 1746 which ushered in over 100 years of ethnic cleansing and clearance of the Highlands, the fact that Cumberland Crescent was amongst thesuggestions caused a little stooshie, mostly because Prince William, the ‘Butcher’ Cumberland, was the prime mover and shaker in the brutal and bloody crackdown in the battle’s aftermath.

Anyway, in what is really a fine example of why you should wake the hell up and pay attention to the absolute wallopers who stand for Community Council in your area, and usually get elected unopposed due to there never being enough candidates,David McGrath, chairman of Smithton and Culloden Community Council, stood by the reference to the Duke of Cumberland and we just didn’t need to write anything else for this article.

“I don’t have the slightest problem,” he said.

“He won the game so he should get a mention.”

“People might not like it up here – all the Tartan wallopers.”

Asked whether the name might cause offence, Mr McGrath replied: “In certain quarters it will but it all depends on how you read history books.”

Fun fact – Did you know it was originally the Tories who called the Dirty Duke “The Butcher”?

Fun fact 2 – Cumberland Crescent in Gaelic is Corran a’ Bhuidseir.

Fun fact 3 – Culloden: The Game will be released by the Daily Gael in time for Christmas 2019 – it’ll be a mix of Risk and Monopoly but with the Community Chest cards written in Dalriadan and German.

Fun Fact 4 – Weirdly, Mr McGrath at least gave it some wecht – this sausage was actually voted for by people. People from Beauly to be fair, but still.