Stupid idiot proposes stupid idiot idea

Michael Matheson, Scotland’s Transport Secretary, revealed today that he was looking at charging ferry users more to use Calmac Ferries at peak times and also that he is a stupid idiot.  

“I reckon that if we hike up the prices like RyanAir do as the flight gets closer and slots run out then we’ll definitely make it much more affordable for the local population who definitely don’t suffer from the highest levels of fuel poverty in the country and also face other financial challenges such as the high-price of living and a lack of affordable housing” said the poor man’s Keith Brown.

“I’m absolutely sure this will be a winning idea, I’m sure those people who have dreamed about feeling the breeze of the Hebrides on the far side of the world will be put off by that extra 40 quid we bung on top of the price and that will let Jessie head off to see her sister in Inverness on the 7am boat even though she is coming from Leverburgh. .”

“Just build more fucking boats but put a proper bar in them this time.” said local man Ian Murdo Macfarlane.