Snoop Dogg to Present Top Gear

L.A Rapper Snoop Dogg looks set to take up the newly vacant presenting post at Top Gear after Jeremy Clarkson defied an ultimatum to continue being a twat.

The BBC said it wanted to “take a new direction” with the show:

“Snoop wants to take the show back to its roots; back to basics you know. With Snoop it’s all about the mechanics. Perhaps people are not aware of his doctorate or his significant contributions to the field of mechanical engineering.”

The shows dimly-lit studio looks set to be replaced by a purpose-built L.A style mansion in a field in Watford.

James May appears to have taken umbrage at the news, while Snoop has reportedly called him a “fencepost”.

Richard Hammond has been requested to either become or source 80 beautiful bikini-wearing babes to replace himself.

The BBC, although pleased with their new appointment, were unable to provide the Daily Gael with Snoop Dogg’s whereabouts:

“Look, we are sure that he is face-down in the books making plans for the new series. Something about blunts, babes and Birmingham. I am not sure. One thing is for sure though: there will be no more nonsense on Top Gear. Not with Snoop Dogg at the helm!”