“Sgitheanachs about 13 portaloo dumpings away from going full on Deliverance”

With every race, creed and colour seemingly coming to the Misty Isle to park badly on verges and throw their faeces across natural wonders and childrens’ playparks, a respected Skye-watcher haa stated that the Island’s Deliverance Clock has been set closer to midnight than ever before.

Excluding people in Aird Sleat and Kilmuir, who are already full on Deliverance, Professor Emeritus Tormod MacKinnon said that any more tourists fouling the roadways of the Island could see vigilante groups of islanders from places as diverse as Ose and Sluggans taking action to scare away the outsiders for good.

“Not saying there will be any Ned Beatty Sodomy but the Island truly is at breaking point. Maybe the Kilt Rock Piper should become a Pipe Rock Banjo player? Frankly some of the behaviour we’re seeing is turning the whole island into a backstreet in Kyle. It’s worse than being under siege, it’s like Under Siege 2, the one on the train.”

“The roads are so full if one of the old Sassanach Cailleachs rotting away up in Glendale has a stroke, all the ranting by Rocket Ronnie Macdonald to keep Portree hospital open won’t have done Clarissa the damn bit of good, her golden time is fucked.”

“Just get a tourist tax in place ffs or we’ll just go round keying cunts’ cars.”

The Daily Gael tried to contact some local malcontents to see if they were willing to pin the whole fiasco on the Gaelic School in Portree but they were too drunk.