Scottish Greens “Government must reduce Peat & Diesel emissions”

With the publication of the Scottish Government’s budget for 2020 by Kate Forbes yesterday, the opposition Scottish Green Party said they were disappointed at what they perceived as a lack of progress towards reducing the amount of fossil fuel based music all the way from Stornoway.

Co-covener Patrick Harvie said, “We don’t think the Government is serious in challenging the climate emergency. No mention of cutting Peat & Diesel emissions. Peat & Diesel emissions are rising, in fact we’ve had two albums and a single in the last year, and Calum Dan’s Transit Van isn’t helping. A tax on the use of the #peatlemania hashtag would be a start.”

“We’d still really like them to scrap the whole A9 dualling thing as well. Why should teuchters get to switch from one side of the road to another anytime they want willy-nilly without risk to their life?” he concluded.

Ross Greer said “Och don’t listen to Patrick, me and John Finnie have Wathickapheep on repeat in the office and Patrick is just raging because he went to the Barrowlands gig and he couldn’t see over the person in front of him. Churchill was a dick.”

The Scottish Government said “The Minister for Public Finance announced increased measures to retain and improve our Peat & Diesel Lands which will act as a carbon sink, so that more people can understand Boydie’s lyrics, and also deal with the rising West Coast population caused by Uilly.”