Owen Coyle “I only took the County job because it was on the NC 500”

With Ross County’s six year stint in the top tier of Scottish football at an end, many disgruntled Staggies are placing the blame squarely on the calamitous reign of former Burnley and Airdrieonians legend Owen Columba Coyle.

Having taken over from Jim McIntyre at the end of September last year “OC” had a pitiful points record before being sacked in March, that gave the current managers, Steven Ferguson and Stuart Kettlewell an uphill climb to salvage their season.

However, as news dropped about the inevitable being confirmed this afternoon, Owen spoke to the Gael from the top of Stac Pollaidh, where he was enjoying the fine Highland weather, about his former employer’s downfall.

“Sorry to hear the news but really aye, I was just killing time in Dingers until the good weather came, then I’d cash out my redundancy payment on a Fiat Uno and head out into the wilds. Since I got sacked I’ve been having a grand time glamping aboot the North Coast 500, checking out Smoo Cave, Achmelvich, the Seafood Shack in Ullapool, the bit in Caithness that you drive through as quick as you can, all the usual pish that you can get to on the same shitey roads that have always been there.”

“Thankfully, I managed to avoid bumping into that Jeremy Clarkson wank though.”