“No chance, chancer” rules Scottish Court

The Scottish Court of Session has ruled Boris Johnson’s attempt to prorogue parliament illegal and that he himself is a chancer, a hatestuffed manflump and absolutely no craic whatsoever.

All 3 judges where unanimous of the view that Boris Johnson would drink your last dram and tell you he spilled it.

“This is the sort of man that would grass you up for having a pint before midnight mass” said Lord Brodie before adding “I am actually fumin’ by the way.”

“He would scratch your best mate’s initials into your brand new Fiesta. What an absolute shitehawk so he is” added Senior Judge Lord Carloway.

“Not happening pal, nae chance, none” laughed Lord Drummond Young.

The Scottish Court of session was formed in 1952 to uphold Scotland’s commitment to the sesh. This is believed to be the first time it has ruled on a non sesh related manner.

Scotland now looks set to be expelled from the U.K for being too sound.