New MG Alba reality TV show to follow D-List Celebs learning Gaelic; Kez Dugdale signed up

In another unique announcement, MG Alba have announced another unique partnership, this time with reality TV mandarins Endemol to produce a new 24/7 show, to be called “Cannon ar Dùthcha”

Creator of Big Brother John De Mol said “We are very excited about this opportunity to work with MG Alba. They felt it was time to give learners their time in the spotlight, and what better way to do so than in a 20 year old format, reality TV.”

“We’ll take 12 of Scotland’s most infamous and not famous at all D-List Celebs and for six months follow their every move as they try and master SCOTLANDS ANCIENT TONGUE©. In the final weeks, they will have to go in front of the An Comunn Puirt-a-Beul judges and also sit the 1999 Standard Grade Credit paper. Those who fail will be shot out of a cannon. Hence the snappy title.”

“It’s a social experiment certainly. It’ll be less I’m a Celeb and Love Island and more like The Cruise with Jane Macdonald we hope. Life affirming stories of failed Scottish politicians, Commonwealth Games atheletes and unimaginative hacks becoming passionate about Gaelic but facing all the difficulties learners experience, like lapsed native speakers being snooty as fuck about them when they meet them in the pub and leniting L in the past tense.”

John and his producers are hopeful of signing up a rogues gallery of D-listers, including hipster provocateur David Torrance, runner Lee McConnell, Kilmarnock legend Ian Durrant, the new recipe for Irn Bru, notorious antiGaelic journo Stephen Daisley, somebody from River City and shinty’s Eddie Tembo.

One guaranteed sign-up is Kezia “Kez” Dugdale. With a hefty legal case coming up against Wings Over Scotland and Labour cutting off her funding, Kez has decided to take up the learning challenge. Kez’s spokesman said “Torquil Crichton said it was a deagh idea and also speaking Gaelic would piss off the Rev because he thinks its witchcraft or something like.”

A spokesperson for MG Alba “We know this is the Daily Gael, and they are ripping the piss, but we might actually steal this idea.”