Local crofter’s son stressed about Brexit, found touching sheep

Local oddball Lachie MacInnes, son of Donagan and Marsaili was found late last night in the barn of next door neighbour Murdo John allegedly worrying an old cast ewe.

Mr MacInnes was escorted from the barn by a recently arrived police constable from the mainland. Police said “We can confirm a 23 year old man was arrested but that no formal allegations have been made. But bloody hell, you locals are mental, they never warned me about this at Tulliallan”

A spokesperson for the local grazings committee said “We’ve been very worried about the stress that Lachie has been under with a no-deal Brexit and doing a run to the Crofters for some baler twine.”

Jessie the Cailleach said “Lachie’s never been the same since my grandson Thomas gave him some of that Bhatarasach marching powder in the toilets in the community hall last Old New Year.”

None of Lachie’s former sheep were able to speak out as they’ve all been turned to mince.