LibDems “should stop being bad craic and support independence”

Euro Elections – The Gael View

It’s been another tumultuous night in British Politics. The Brexit Party have shown that England really does want to jump in front of a bus because big Nigel told them so, Plaid Cymru have a decent case for independence for Ynys Mon anyway and Northern Ireland is still divided firmly between Rangers and Celtic.

In Scotland, the story is also clear, there is a resounding majority for remain, the SNP have maintained their position, even winning shit craic areas like Moray, and Ruth Davidson’s comeback to politics has been one of those awkward failures when a one-hit wonder appears 15 years later on This Morning to push a new collection of Sinatra covers. Nobody cares anymore, and Murdo Fraser is eyeing up your job.

A feature of the wider UK picture was the revival of the Liberal Democrats. With people now kind of realising that the Yellow Perils went in with the Tories in 2010 to restrict them to being 95% sociopath instead of the full-blue turbo dialled 200% we’ve seen since 2015, they’ve been slightly forgiven for crap like ramping up tuition fees to nine grand and failing to secure a move to proportional representation and Danny Alexander. They gained second place behind Farage’s Lactose Intolerant Party with 18.6% of the vote.

The LORD won big in Na h-Eileanan an Iar

Back up in Scotland though, the bounce wasn’t as big, with the LibDems AKA The Orkney and Shetland National Party, only getting to 14%. However, this has been enough for them to secure an MEP who we haven’t bothered to look up the name of, but we just hope he isn’t as much of a rocket as Alex Cole-Hamilton.

Scottish LibDem leader Willie Rennie has had one tactic the last few years and that has been to be as much of a fud to Nicola Surgeon as possible in order to get a bit of name recognition, but being practical it might have worked to get you elected in North East Fife, but looking at how Colonel Davidson is doing these days, it has its limits.

We at the Daily Gael are realists but our message to Wee Willie is this. Stop being bad craic and support independence. We know you are probably attached to the UK in a kind of Danny Boyle’s 2012 Opening Ceremony, what about the Beatles and Doctor Who on the BBC type of way, but you know what, just get on board.

You may be the party for rich folk who just can’t bring themselves to vote Tory, mad Shetlanders who love lying Ileachs, a few Highlanders who still think you’re a proper successor to the Crofters’ Party and people who like Tofu but think Patrick Harvie is a smug prick, but it’s worth sticking a spanner in Jo Swinson’s plan to maybe get on some thinktank in London when she gets booted out again by making the only correct decision going, swing the lads behind getting Scotland out of the UK and back into Europe toot sweet.

Get even half your base behind the plan and we have a majority for freedom, an opportunity for Jamie Stone to get a well earned retirement gig as ambassador to Portugal, and Alistair Carmichael could concentrate on doing his pùirt again. It’ll be good craic, and the late great Charlie Kennedy was always up for the craic.

What do you say Willie? We’ll buy you a dram of Abhainn Dearg and give you a week in the caravan at Scalpay to mull it over.

Free Church Minister material right there