Islander’s life marginally improved by Celtic losing to Hearts

Island based Rangers FC fan, Murdo Macdonald celebrated a spiritual victory tonight as  Hearts defeated Celtic 1-0 at Tynecastle. This has improved his admittedly shitty life by a minuscule amount, but enough to stop him engaging in auto-erotic asphyxiation.

Murdo spoke to the Gael outside the Park Bar tonight, “I might have called Lafferty a turncoat bastard for leaving when our club didn’t actually die but he’s a true bluenose banging in the winner against the scum.”

“I’m so ecstatic. It makes up for losing out on a possible £700 win on my coupon and my wife sleeping with my best friend but Stevie G is going to instigate a third reformation and I’m going to be on the crest of a wave from then on.” said Murdo.

“If I could be arsed paying for a taxi to Lochboisdale I’d go down and rub their noses in it, but I’ll just stay and wait for us to overcome St Mirren with a dubious penalty and the help of the St Mirren players who support the Famous.”

“That way, I’ll totally be able to ignore the futility of my existence for at least another month.”