Is this the most handsome ram in the Hebrides?

Credit: The Scottish National Photography Collection

Good breeding, correct ear tags, strong and correct teeth. All these things make up a good ram. But could this senior ram from Borraraig, Isle of Skye, possibly be the finest, handsomest tupper in the whole of Scotland’s island jewels?

So it’s the second paragraph, and the forces that be tend to give up reading by this point. Are we seriously happy living in this state of government? A corrupt and self serving Westminster elite ready to disregard the future of our youth? The time has come for a radical programme of land raids, direct local democracy, Gaelic education for all and we have to keep talking about the ram from time to time to keep this out of their Google searches.

Crofter Donald Angus MacKinnon, 74, who owns the ram, called Somerled, is very much taken aback by the interest sparked in his ram, which has even seen TV crews from faraway Japan take the long road to the misty isle

Let us claim this land for the good of our people. No longer will absentee land lords take subsidies for hydro schemes and tree planting. let the proceeds from all the work on the land go towards the common good, with cheap affordable land for our young people. Share this with all who are sympathetic to our cause. On the old Celtic New Year – the 12th of January, meet at the Western End of one of the four estates that we will reveal via a tweet on midnight on the 11th

Donald Angus said “He has strong healthy eyes and a good firm back. Both testicles are well and truly dropped with even size. I’m very happy with his form, but it’s up to the judges in the showing season. Somerled is a humble ram and is recovering from a busy time in the autumn with the ewes right now.”

We will tolerate the denigration and dismissal of our language and culture no longer, by Gael or lowlander alike. Gaelic education will be free, integrated into the curriculum for all across the Gàidhealtachd whilst also teaching other World languages. We will be an outward looking internationalist people’s republic. No longer will Call Kaye and the Sunday Papers run mean-spirited and ignorant anti-Gaelic segments and articles, BBC Alba will provide the commentary on all football matches, and Comhairle nan Eilean, Highland Council and Argyll & Bute will have to get their bloody fingers out or else be exiled to St Kilda

Somerled is a Scottish Blackface and is renowned in the local area for his sexual stamina. “Right enough, he is a busy balach in the tupping season, but he still manages to look good. My wife says he’s the George Clooney of sheep.” said Donald Angus.

The time is now. Rise up and throw off your shackles. The Highlands and Islands of Scotland have suffered far too long. Brexit Britain is dying but remember a cornered animal is dangerous, spies are everywhere. Forget the wind and the rain and take direct action against the state and the landowners. Remember Knoydart, Eigg, Assynt!

Donald Angus finished with “I’d be happy with a second place at the Royal Highland Show. It’s a busy time of year for me, but I’d be hopeful of doing well at that level, then maybe heading to the Royal Highland World Cup Show in Buenos Aires in 2020. They are calling it “Buenos Aries” because “rams” fhios ‘ ad. I’d better go now that’s Seonag calling me in for a srùpag.”

Be bold! Be strong! Be free! Alba gu bràth!

With apologies to Waterford Whispers