Inverness man accidentally jogs into pub, distillery, kebab shop, back to pub

Two days into his journey to godliness Donald MacLeod of Inverness has hit a small snag after stumbling into a pub, a distillery, a kebab shop and then back to the pub.

“To think that only yesterday I was arseways up on the floor eating quality street from a shoe. Even I find me inspiring” wept Donald.

“On day one I truly felt the burn after my medium intensity walk to the Indian for a Vindaloo.”

“On day two though my Runkeeper app sent me on this mad sesh through the Sneck. Ended up doing laps around Hoots on my arsecheeks and carb loading 2 kebabs and a calzone”.

Donald’s route then “took” him to the acclaimed Tomatin distillery.

“The lads and girl-lads at the distillery wanted to know how I transformed my well rounded moobs into well rounded pecs in less than 18 hours. I couldn’t let them down so I stayed for 9 drams.”

We questioned Donald as to how he managed the 30 mile return journey to the Tomatin distillery on only day 2 of his quest to get pumped:

“I somehow ended up in a taxi for that bit. F*cking Runkeeper playing up again!”