Highland man successfully transplants own personality with Africa by Toto memes

Girvan MacKay, originally from Golspie, but sporting an affected Glaswegian accent has been verified by the Guinness Book of World Records as the first human to successfully transplant his entire personality with references to 80s AOR smash “Africa” by Toto.

There have been several cases of people becoming obsessed with the song to the point of  “mate can you not just get some new craic” but this is the first time an individual has gone through complete personality reassignment surgery in the World.

Colin, a childhood friend said “Originally we thought it was just Girv being all “look at me and how fucking ironic I am, I like Fatherson but I also love this pish”, but then it took a sinister turn. He started altering all memes he found on-line to reference the song, and would tag his whole friends list. He even tagged his mum’s minister in a video of canaries dancing to a James Corden cover version but whilst it was on-line it seemed reasonably self contained.”

“That wasn’t the end of it though. It seeped into his real-life. When people would sneeze he would say “Bless the Rains Down in Africa”. He’d go and ask the DJ to play the song, and then when they’d play it, go ask again, then would walk around shouting that Kilimanjaro isn’t actually towering above the Serengeti. He’s now banned from the Buff Club and the Berkeley Suite.”

In closing Colin said “Walking home from the club was a nightmare as well. He’d stop old men along the way but did get any old forgotten words or ancient melodies? Did he fuck? He just got hepatitis from this junkie that bit him in Dennistoun.”

Girvan said “I had friends abandon me saying I was wasting my life on a shitty World Beat Don’t Stop Believin’, but I knew they were wrong. I’ve always felt I was Totosexual and I hope I can help everyone who is also that way feel confident to say that they too are Totosexual. I’ve already had millions of replies on my social media with people saying that I’ve helped cure what’s deep inside, and they were frightened of this thing that they’d become.”