Hangovers to get 70% worse as IRN BRU change recipe.

Drinks manufacturer AG Barr are changing the recipe of IRN BRU out of spite.

IRN BRU is – also known as MacNurofen – is Scotland most popular soft drink closely followed by water and lager.

“IRN BRU has been bringing joy, orange teeth and diabetes to families across Scotland for generations” said one AG BARR spokesbastard.

“But the time has come to take that joy away. You can keep the diabetes though.”

NHS Scotland have issued advice to those affected by hangovers in a post IRN BRU world:

“Buckfast also has loads of fucking caffeine in it and can be mixed with Fanta orange to make a workable substitute”.

“Breakfast of champions, live for the sesh” said Health Secretary Shona Robinson.

Reports of rioting in supermarkets across Scotland are unconfirmed but totally understandable.