Guga raid Ness in brutal revenge hunt

In a tragic reversal of fortunes fledgling Gannets have raided the parish of Ness in the Western Isles taking thousands of Niseach’s for food.

The people of Ness traditionally take thousands of gannets from Sula Sgeir by gently clubbing the shit out of them. The young gannets have reluctantly vowed to continue raiding the district until the practice stops:

“Have you ever tried to eat a Niseach? They are about 90% jumper and the other ten percent is fecking Guga” squawked one disgusted fledgling Gannet.

“The taste is really hard to describe. Very peaty. Very oily. Like a mix of chicken, Grants whisky and red diesel”.

“I much prefer regurgitated sand eels, they are the nuts”.

The four remaining people of Ness remain defiant:

“We didn’t let PETA, the WWF or the taste of Guga stop us eating Guga and we certainly aren’t going to be put off by being eaten.”

“We are going to keep eating Guga because the co-op is a fifty minute drive and that’s that”.

“Ness out.”