EU capitulates utterly after threat of 20% Tax on Runrig Albums

The EU has surrendered unconditionally to Britain’s demands to have it’s cake and leave it, after being threatened with a 20% tariff on Runrig albums.

India, Kenya and Malaysia have thrown themselves at our feet after realising that being conquered, humiliated, starved and brutalised was actually just a bit of colonial bants.

France has now been renamed Frank.

The guy from Weatherspoons has been hospitalised after masturbating his own hands off.

All the black and brown Polish people are now Northumbrians, well tanned from thatching traditional BRITISH cottages.

All bilingual road signs are to be replaced by English / POURLY SPELD ALL CAPES SINDAGE.

The Scottish parliament has been replaced by the big tent from the Great British Bakeoff. David Mundell is now Prince of North Britain. The people rejoice. Everyone is happy.

The Welsh Parliament is now a Tesco Metro. Northern Ireland has been relocated to the outer rings of Saturn where it can best be ignored.

Michael Gove is still a slimy cretin but his famous slime coating has turned a more patriotic hue of rouge-blue.

Rule Britannia! / ROOL BRETENGA!