Englishman’s delight at actual Englishman being good at tennis

With Yorkshireman Kyle Edmund roaring into the Australian Open semi-finals, Thomas Johnson-Green of Chesham showed his delight at finally having someone he could really get behind on the tennis court.

“He’s not that crippled rebellious Scot or some fly by night Canuk or Slovak. This chap is the real deal, the full English, the reincarnation of Tiger Tim.”

“If he fails he’s English, but at least it’ll be our failure, like Brexit. Despite the fact it’s horrifically difficult to even be in contention at this stage of tennis, we’ll soon have him in the national joke category for his inevitable failure to win the event. If he wins, he’ll be a shoe-in for Sports Personality of the Year.”

“We’d prefer if he was posher but we have a ginger at the top of the charts and fourth in line for the throne, so having one as English No1 is acceptable.”

“I can’t wait to jovially shout out ‘C’mon Andy’ in between games when I go to Central Court this summer when Kyle is playing.”

“What do you mean he was born in Johannesburg?”