Chinese tourists rushing in their thousands to break their legs on the Storr

With the news that 24 hour A&E services in Portree have been preserved thanks to the actions of those Eilean a’ Cheò councillors not moaning about Gaelic Primary Schools, Chinese tourists have expressed their excitement at now being able to throw themselves off the Old Man of Storr with abandon.

Breaking off from taking photos of some cattle in Kilmuir, Liu Wei (45) of Guangdong Province said; “We have been keeping up with the news as The West Highland Free Press is one of the few Western Papers allowed in China, so we have seen how the decadent capitalists have tried to crush the thousand flowers of aging pensioners in North and West Skye with their bourgeoisie schemes.”

“We’ve been here in our thousands even in the depths of winter, loving the beautiful landscape and being oblivious to the aggressive drug fuelled locals in the Portree hotels, but we’ve been living in fear of the slightest slip on the slopes of the Storr that we wouldn’t get treatment in Portree. We are very superstitious, in Chinese writing, the characters for Broadford are the same as those for Death, so we are very happy to avoid a trip there.”