Cameron Honours List includes Man who gave him free Latte

Former Prime Minister and flat foreheaded poverty enthusiast David Cameron has become embroiled in a controversy over his resignation honours list.

The honours list  is traditionally used to lather gratitude butter on the rich benefactors who own the deeds to your soul.

Cameron has awarded honours (queen-chumship) to literally scores of close friends and backers and to Pedro Rodrigues who famously let him have his Mochalatte for free after he was found naked and crying in a starbucks toilet after the E.U referendum loss.

A knighthood has also been awared to an unknown but strangely familiar mustacheoid gentleman named Cavid Dameron.

Cameron has also promised an MBE to “whomever takes Michael Gove to feed the fishes….by which I mean drown him in a bath filled with prosecco, serrano ham and currywurst”.

We approchaed Cameron for comment:

“Poppy-cock-dash, this is class A horse shit” retorted Cameron like a class A fud.

“Barely 97 of the people listed have given me money. Pedro only gave me a fucking Latte”.