Calum Iain looking for some G7 money for his falaisg

Calum Iain Morrison, a West Coast crofter, is appealing to the G7 World leaders summit for a portion of the cash dedicated to aid the battle to extinguish the Amazon Rainforest fires.

Even though he lit his falaisg back in March, he hopes that he can get some of the 22 million dollars to help build a new fence in the lower part of his croft.

“Auch, I just set it off and leave it, but if there’s money in it, I’ll happily take it off this Mr MacRon. MacRon? Co na daoine aige? Here, he likes the cailleachan does he? He’d better not indecent proposal my Mairead as part of the deal.”

Calum Iain’s falaisg story is already attracting celeb attention “I had that fellow DiCaprio on the phone as well, he’s thinking of buying Seonag’s old croft from her second cousin’s nephew. He lives in town and isn’t interested in the sheep.”

Calum Iain then said he had to get back to work because his own son was too busy sharing memes about how vegans are arseholes because sheep are carbon neutral and planes are smelly.