Woman in Gaelic choir now into 34th year of not learning any Gaelic at all

Photo by Christine McIntosh, shared under Creative Commons 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/2.0/legalcode

Mabel McPherson joined the Clachnabrochan Gaelic choir in 1984 as a young, slender limbed soprano. Since then both her tone and her tòn are noticeably lower. Her Gaelic skills have however not become conversely higher.

In all that time, which saw the choir survive the infamous “Maggie Ann” incident in 1987, Mabel has steadfastly refused to even learn how to reply to “Ciamar a tha thu?”

“I’ve never been much fussed about all the Ciamar a hoo hah nonsense myself. I like to hear people speaking it, and it would be such a shame for the language to die but I just genuinely can’t be arsed.”

“I mean, if I actually learnt some Gaelic I’d have nothing to laugh about with the other non-Gaels in the choir other than making mean jokes about Dingwall’s awful tartan and the terrible arrangement that Mary-Ann Kennedy made for the puirt that one time.” Mabel guffawed.

“No, it’s much easier to learn the words to all these songs phonetically like some savant parrot. It’s not like I’m one of these Lewis people who pretend they can’t speak it. We have plenty bronze card holders anyway, and as for gold card singers, that’s what the two nice unmarried lads who lodge together are for.”

“If I could find another excuse to get away from my Derek and his strangely lingering libido, that combines with my love for craft gin I’d take it.” Mabel grimaced finally as her whatsapp group pinged and Mairead her conductor organised an extra practice for Friday.