Windfarm Summons Dread Lord Cthulhu
Concern is growing in the North Perthshire after a community windfarm summoned Cthulhu lord of Death on Wednesday afternoon.
The 1000ft Lovecraftian demon has since been roaming rural Perthshire, decimating strawberry farming and giving interviews to obscure online newspapers.
“I am really excited by the opportunities that renewable energy presents to us elder gods” says Cthulhu. “It is allowing us to reach and lay waste to communities previously considered too much of a trek.”
Locals however did not share the King of Beast’s enthusiasm:
“We were supposed to be having a bake sale to celebrate the opening of the windfarm. Obviously that had to be postponed… and it killed my wife”.
“Having to watch out for both average speed cameras on the A9 and Cthulhu is a bit much. We should pick one and just stick to it”.
“Never mind Cthulhu. This windfarm is completely blocking my view of the devastation.”
However Dave Grass of Scotland’s Renewable Initiative was quick to see the positives:
“A thousand years of darkness is a small price to pay for clean renewable energy”.
” I was worried about birds flying into the turbine but it looks like they all dropped from the sky at the same time as the planes and satellites.”
This report comes just days after a similar project near the Norwegian town of Lillehammer summoned both a Balrog and a white wizard to fight it.