“Who’s bright idea was it to invite Mallaig anyway?” ask Skye & Lochalsh football teams

As Mallaig FC vanquished Skye’s Kyleakin FC 2-1 in a playoff at Broadford yesterday to be crowned William Wilson League champions in their debut season.

The team from the Grimsby of na Garbhchrìochan have enjoyed their first season in the traditionally Skye and Lochalsh league, with a 35-nil humping of fallen giants Portree, but sources close to the Skye & Lochalsh Amateur FA have expressed their bemusement at who was to blame for letting Mallaig in in the first place.

A blogpost on the Marag & Bovril forum by “King Haacking”, a good source for SLAFA rumours, laid bare the situation.

“It was obvious that we needed some more teams in the league, what with all the teams in North West Skye amalgamating, and the fact that Plockton’s population is 75% elderly gay divorcees from Buckinghamshire caused them to fold. On the face of it inviting Mallaig seemed a good idea.”

“We just thought that they would be another Gairloch Aultbea United, another bunch of alkie fishermen perpetually finishing somewhere midtable with a wee run in the Clan Donald from time to time. We didn’t expect them to come along and win the bloody thing on their first try.”

“Congrats to them obviously but we’ll be petitioning for a reduced ferry service from Armadale if this nonsense continues.”

“The only upside is how shite Skye Camanachd are at the moment.”