Turkeys: “We are minging”.

Turkeys are taking the opportunity to remind shoppers this holiday season that they taste, look and genuinely are horrible:

“We look like pheasants after a gap year in Chernobyl. Our favorite food is worms and our hobbies include clucking and being unnecessarily dry. We are so deformed by years of selective breeding that even our breasts have breasts. If Big Bird from Sesame Street and the Hulk had a baby it wouldn’t look half as ugly as us and would probably taste better”. 

“Our faces are blue. They banned Smarties for less”.

However consumers don’t appear ready to abandon the humble but monstrous turkey just yet:

“There is nothing better than getting together with the family to choke down a chicken-like substance while reminiscing on the many reasons you hate one another”.

“If I can eat a sauce made out of bread then I can eat a chicken wi’ big red jowls”.