Tomnahurich Cemetery to be converted into Hostel and Hotel

With Inverness cultural venues such as the Ironworks and Hootenanny’s Mad Hatters giving way to tourist accommodation the next plan for development has been revealed.

Plans have been drawn up for in the Tomnahurich Cemetery in Inverness to build a backpackers hostel and a four star boutique hotel to cater to the demand from tourists to come to a City with genuinely no substantial arts and culture scene other than those two venues which are going to get punted.

A spokesman for Travelhotels Inc said “Building on a graveyard? No bother at all. It’s not like all these dead people are going to be worried. No one gets buried there now anyway, it’s a straight burn and urn at the crem these days.”

“Nobody has built on the site of the old swimming pool after almost 25 years though, but ramming a several hundred beds on a burial ground on the outskirts of town shouldn’t annoy anyone local because there isn’t anyone local in Inverness, they’re all either people who are from other bits of the Highlands who think their home villages are shite, hardworking Polish lads with 8 jobs and people from South of Perth who like vigorous walks and rambling who work at Raigmore.”

In the comments on this article when posted on Facebook, at least one roaster actually believed this development was true and a local artist made a plug for their spurious creative collective that meets in a village hall in the Black Isle.