Terrified Santa trapped in the Woodburner

A panicked Father Christmas has become trapped in a multifuel stove in his first dry run of the season.

When Santa initially became stuck in the chimney he began to shout: “you girls and boys wont get any toys if you don’t pull me out…before I suffocate or p*ss myself”.

“So everybody has a stove now then?” sighed Santa. “I have a direct line to the f*cking U.N and nobody thought to mention this”.

“Ho Ho Ho, Merry Christmas” coughed Santa weakly from inside his metallic prison.