Teachers preparing to deal with sociopaths (and pupils)

As teaching staff in the Highlands prepare for the kids to come back from a seven week holiday tomorrow, they have spent this morning girding their loins for the onslaught of their headteachers and deputy headteachers.

“Who knows what kooky acronyms they will have learnt or all-singing all-dancing policies from other schools they are preparing to suck all the inventiveness and joy from?” Said Gary MacLennan, a disgruntled Geography teacher who asked not to be named.

“Can’t wait to hear how the fact the Ds the four sixth year boys I reported repeatedly to them for skiving my class got are my fault.” Said Lisa Wallace, lady Techie teacher.

“We’ve got to face facts folks: us jobbing teachers simply can’t compete with people who instead of developing their leadership and people skills, spend their time reading over the latest policy documents from Education Scotland and creating a self-perpetuating but ultimately incompetent clique. I mean, I could do that but I’d rather just have a moan and keep my weekends free.” Said SSTA rep, Cassie Malcolm-Wilkinson.

In other news, Scotland’s entire slate of Gaelic teachers have called in sick this morning with a mysterious disease called Runrigitis.