The Internet is a complicated place, and no more so than for Highlands and Islands women with a busy social life, a spread out circle of friends and acquaintances to keep up with and a busy Instagram story to maintain in order to keep up the pretence that you aren’t falling apart at the seams.

However, with a fast evolving nomenclature for women for referring to your female friends on-line, how can one avoid diplomatic faux-pas which will result in eye-scratching in Coasters or head-butts in the Sea Angling? Never fear, the Daily Gael is here with a handy guide to negotiating this potential social peat-bog.

BFF

Your Best Friend Forever – if you aren’t invited to be at least a bridesmaid at this girl’s wedding then you’ve done something seriously wrong. Also need a good couple of night-outs every so often in Glasgow or Aberdream to bitch about the next person on this list.

Ultimate BFF 

Like a BFF but an even more co-dependent relationship. You’d better be at this wedding, maid of honour or doing a reading. She’s like your sister, but if you liked your sister.

Bestie(s) 

You can change this tag about; solid girls from back home who you’ll have a few drinks with at Christmas, try and remember their kids names, you also pulled a couple of their husbands when you were all back in your underage drinking days round the back of the Talla Choimhearsnachd.

Absolute Bestie

You really should call this girl more often, but hey-ho, her boyfriend Matthew is a bit dull, and you’re sure she can do better. Probably won’t make it to your wedding as you’ll eventually use a spurious excuse to cut her out of your life once and for all.

My Squad 

A bunch of girls from the office, one of them might be called Linda. You’re not sure.

Bae

The gay lad called Stephen who does one or two good haircut styles but that’s about it or more rarely, your unseen BF who’d better get a shift on with that ring, otherwise some BFFs are gonna start asking stupid questions that might see some bitches get stitches.

This One 

Absolute legend who’ll stand by you through all your shit. Likes going for lunch. Thankfully she’s also very plain and a bit chubby so she won’t overshadow you.

These Babes  

God, you hate these girls. Still, they like to drink.