Sutherland just watching Skye Flag competition with big box of popcorn

Having been involved in a humiliating climbdown from their original County flag a few years ago and replacing it with something that was a bit less shite thanks to a vote of fifteen people in the Ben Bhraggie in Golspie and a postal vote from Oldshoremore, the people of Sutherland were celebrating last night at the reveal of Skye’s shortlist for a flag.

“You Skeanachs have no idea what you’ve let yourselves in for. Caithness chose a crappy flag a couple of years ago that was practically them trying to scream “WE’RE FUCKING VIKINGS NOT GAELIC DONT LOOK FOR ANY PLACE NAME EVIDENCE OR ACTUAL HISTORICAL FACT” and so keeping up with the Gunnses we thought we’d get one and then people lost their mind because it had an eagle then people got raging and we just got a spider with a big knob instead.” Said Gavin MacKay from Dornoch.

“No one is going to be happy with it at the end of the day. Every primary school kid will have been made to draw one to fill in time one day and grown men will have actually gone to the effort of putting some primary colours on a piece of paper and sending it in with a crudely scrawled DAVE AGE 8 in crayon to give it a better chance.” he continued.

“All I know about Skeanachs is that they hate each other and everything. North Enders hate South Enders, South Enders hate North Enders, footballers hate the shinty, shinty hate the footballers, Free Church Continuing hate everyone, all the old people hate NHS Highland, all the young people hate the old people for pumping up the property prices, a couple of weirdoes still hate the Gaelic school, everyone hates the Co-op, Aldi hates Skye, the West Highland Free Press hate the SNP, all the crofters hate sea eagles, all the locals hate the incomers for hating fish farms until the locals hate the fish farms then everyone hates the fish farms and if it wasn’t for the amount of MDMA floating about their systems the streets of Dunvegan would resemble something from 28 Weeks Later.”

Gavin said “You think our fiasco a few years ago was a laugh? Wait until you see the mess this bunch get into. Can you seriously imagine Skye folk rallying around a flag? Skyeman’s a Flyman right enough.”