Stromeferry bypass options revealed!

Inverness City Council have announced their preferred options for bypassing the notorious Stromeferry road in their troublesome Western province named Lochcarron after the nice scarves you can buy with your Chief Executive salary.

1. Build a plastic dome that isolates everything from Coulags to Kishorn from the outside world.

2. Bung the OS a couple of quid to remove any mention of Strathcarron from maps.

3. Get the Achmore people to transport people on camels over the back of Glen Udalain.

4. Go through the lost Dwarf kingdom of Khazad-dûm.

5. Build a modern bridge which encompasses clean renewable tidal energy and makes a positive impact to the local environment and economy.