Seagulls and Pigeons find Common Ground over Love of Chips

Seagulls and pigeons have decided to put years of animosity behind them after discovering a shared love of chips.

The declaration, made on a lamp post in Fort William, has stunned both communities. “I hated those flappy bastards,” said Mr C. Gull of 14 Glen Nevis drive. However, I now look forward to years of cooperation and staring at each other through cold, lifeless eyes.

David Anderson, a local working pigeon, was pleased to find that seagulls also enjoy chips and hoped that this will discourage future attempts to disembowel him.

Prominent crow Bob Hoskins was more sceptical, attributing both species’ love of junk food to their lack of intelligence:

“Being really fucking smart, we crows only eat organic wholefood from bins and things we find minced beside the A9.”