Scottish Teachers hammered since June. 

Sources have confirmed that every teacher in Scotland has been smashing into the wine since June. We interviewed one anonymous teacher who was willing to give their name but unfortunately couldn’t remember it:

“I tried to set up my classroom today and ended up laminating a gin and tonic and stapling my hand to a wall”.

“Last night I emailed my Head Teacher a load of great ideas that turned out to be pictures of cats”.

Our source will return to inspiring young minds this week:

“I’m slightly worried by the prospect of looking after 33 children when I haven’t walked in a straight line in 6 weeks.”