Refugee Crisis declared as four Lewismen wander into Harris

“Time to panic” is the official message coming from the Home Office after four lads from Uig had a few drams and wandered into Harris.

“Look over there! Look a f*cking migrant” screeched Home Secretary Sajid Javid.

“Say goodbye to that wool and gin gravy train you Hearachs have been riding. The immigrants are here and they are the baddies.”

Comhairle nan Eilean Siar have been quick to respond:

“This is a pretty standard occurence near the heavily defended Harris / Lewis border but we at Còmhairle nan Eilean do appreciate a bit of needless panic so thanks.”

Unconfirmed reports suggest that a small handed demagogue has risen to power in Harris and is demanding not only that the people of Lewis build a wall but that Derek Pluto pay for it.