RBS to close little Timmy’s Lemonade Stand

The Royal Bank of Scotland have announced plans to close 62 branches across Scotland and little Timmy’s lemonade stand in Kyle of Lochalsh.

“Most people buy their freshly squeezed lemonade online” said one RBS spokesperson. “Especially old people, they love that shit”.

Little Timmy had been raising money to buy his sweet old Grandmother some new teeth. He has had to work extra hard as lemons grown on the West Coast of Scotland taste like battery acid.

“To put if frankly I am bamboozled by the whole affair” said Timmy aged 5. “Gran says that RBS owes us about £20,000 for bailing them out in 2008. I wasn’t born then and I only know numbers up to 14 so it’s hard to check”.

RBS have categorically denied ripping the heart out of the community:

“We didn’t rip anything! We smashed the lemonade jugs and set fire to the stand. Totally different!”

Loyal customers now face a 70 mile round trip to Portree to buy disgusting lemonade from a small child.