Puffins Sh*gging again

Puffins have returned to Scotland’s West Coast after a long arduous winter at sea, to have sex on cliffs.

Residents of coastal areas have been advised to wear blindfolds when out walking in coastal areas and ensure that any young persons or pets accompanying them have had “the talk.”

Reaction to the Puffin’s return has stirred up both strong pro and anti bird-humping voices with one Highland Councillor vehemently opposed:

“I am sick of tripping over a carpet of randy budget penguins every time I want to stare wistfully at the ocean. Reproduction is perfectly natural…but sinful and shameful so we should probably ban it” said Highland Council Spokesperson for semi-aquatic birds, Calum Boyd.

“If I’d chosen to get naked on a cliff I’d get arrested, it’s one rule for them and another for us.”

“If these puffins want to do shameful things then they should rent a Travelodge in Inverness like everyone else.”

However the Scottish Government has rushed to the puffin’s defence:

“Scotland’s annual puffin-orgy is one of natures great spectacles. To me the call of 100,000 horny puffins firing into each other is the true sound of home” said Tam MacPhail, Minister for Puffins.

“I’ll tell you this for free, it kicks the arse of the seagull orgy in Mallaig.”