Placeholder headline for slapdash article about Trump, Devo Power Grab, Gaelic roadsigns and Dòtaman

As the World Cup suddenly becomes a succession of grim 1-0 wins for the big teams, it’s surely time that we serve up some satire for you hungry e-Teuchters cause we haven’t done anything in fleekin ages.

What to write about though? Trump is tacking pretty heavy towards monsters of history levels right now. So that’s no fun. Children haven’t been kept in such awful conditions away from their parents by Leòdhasach politicians since the Valtos Centre in Uig closed.

Talking about politics. Scottish Devolution is deid. We used the word deid because that’s what people do when they talk about Scottish politics, they throw in gratuitous Scots words like ‘stooshie’ or ‘daein ma heid in’ to make themselves sound somehow one of the people and not some jumped up alt-right student politician or not-quite-as-deadbeat councillor who got in because people either love/hate Nicola Sturgeon. And let’s be honest it isn’t giving us, or if you got this far, you, too many laughs right now.

We’ve done all our good jokes about Gaelic road-signs.

So we’ll just fall back on Dòtaman. We’ll just say the word – the punters will lap it up. Dòtaman. Even having it in the headline will have people instantly tag their mate or write a banal comment. Dòtaman. It’s like a Pavlova response. Dòtaman. Yes we know that’s not correct. (Before you write a comment.) Dòtaman. It’s a pavlova response because it’s ultimately a fairly disappointing experience that you think is good but on reflection is just cheap sugar and air and nowhere near as good as a pios math duf. Dòtaman. Dòtaman. Dòtaman.

If you got to the end of this you deserve a medal, and a real good one at that, not one of the wee badges An Comunn gives you for a duet with your sister when you are nine. And if you read the last part of the previous paragraph out whilst looking in a mirror Donnie will appear and do some plasterboard for you.