New PM presents defiant Sturgeon with her Cereal

May creal ceart

The first meeting between the heads of the U.K and Scottish governments has gotten off to a tense start this morning.

Theresa May wasted no time presenting Nicola Sturgeon with a big bag of Lidl own brand “Cornlike Crunch” and a single half open mini container of UHT milk.

This was taken as an affront to Sturgeon who only drinks milk fresh from the teat of the finest Galloway cows.

“Choke it down” said May.

“Get tae” retorted Sturgeon.

“I’ll renew trident Nicola, and I’ll put it in Loch Lomond and nobody will want your boat trips. Is that what you want?”

Sturgeon then held the cereal aloft, motioned towards her mouth, locked eyes with Theresa May and slowly poured the bowl’s contents over the new PM’s poorly concealed hooves.

May was defiant after the meeting:

“Maybe I should have covered it in Parmesan cheese and olive oil if your all so fucking European now.”

“Or just deep fried it, that always worked with Salmond”.