Man has small pang of shame at running blindly over road in front of parents teaching kid “stop, look, listen”

Eriskay's new strip had some extra accoutrements

Eriskay’s new strip had some extra accoutrements

Gerry Maclean, a 34 year old graphic artist and deliveroo rider in Glasgow, has been pondering over the fact that even though the road was completely clear both ways and he could cross diagonally with minimal risk to his life that there was a young couple trying to teach their child the green cross code next to him on the kerb when he ran wildly across the road to cut 23 seconds off his walk to Kelvingrove Park.

“It’s eating me up worse than the munchies mate. That kid there, this is a sliding doors moment for them, they see their parents trying to love and nourish them, saying “Wait” “Look both ways” , y’know being good parents, trying to keep them safe and I just barrel over. What could be the consequences? Have I exposed the facade of respectable civilisation? Will the kid grow up Tory now? Or am I just a dick?” said Gerry in between writing a paragraph of a review of the new Cinematic Orchestra album for his blog as we tracked him down in a cafe in Finneston.

“I lie awake at night just thinking actually you know what I should regulate my behaviour when people are doing that. It’s respectful and these parents are out there, making sure their kids are active and safe. Any decent person wouldn’t be swearing their head off in front of kids or falling around drunk, so in this situation as well we’ve all got a responsibility to help people grow up smart and healthy. Or maybe I’m overanalysing this.”

“But then I start thinking that maybe the kid should be getting taught that yes cars might kill it but by that of course I mean though their carbon emissions and other air pollution will inevitably lead to mass extinction and global apocalypse.”