Mamaidh Mia! Runrig Musical Plot Revealed!

We at the Daily Gael are delighted to have got our hands on the libretto for the upcoming Runrig Musical! Here’s our exclusive preview of the plotline! Spoilers ahead!

It’s the Year 3018 and young John Norman MacPherson has to return to his home village of An Toll Dubh which is a small moonbase on the Highland colony on the Moon, now called the Island of Sky3 after all the Sgitheanachs who moved there after the Great Second Clearances of the 21st Century. After the overture, which is The Brolum and Cearcall a’ Chuain, the whole cast begins with The Stamping Ground, John Norman introduces himself with Going Home and the history of the Isle of Sky3 is told via Rocket To The Moon by the Whole Cast again. We’re all set for 2 and a half hours of Teuchter Jukebox Magic.

On returning to the Isle of Sky3, John Norman meets his old sgoil àraich pal Seonag, it’s been Fichead Bliadhna since he came back to and a lot has changed. Businesswoman Magaidh Ocho Meallt is buying up all the Mooncrofts and all the Moon-Sgitheanachs are set to have to move yet again as they can’t afford even a solitary crater. Magaidh is introduced singing O Cho Meallt.

Will John Norman be welcome at home? He was supposed to go to the Free Church Seminary on Titan, but instead ended up walking the streets of the City of Light on New Canada – he’s now A Cutter, a mercenary for hire who hunts down Campervan Cyborgs who go off planet but has had to come home to look after his family crater.

it’s not all John Norman’s story. Taking a cue from Mamma Mia, Seonag and her sisters are trying to work out who their dad is as she belts belt out Sìol Ghoraidh and we are introduced to Goraidh, Ruairidh, Raghnall and Dòmhnall, her possible fathers.

Although initially antagonistic, the fathers bond over their time back on Earth on Skye, Goraidh taking Song of the Earth and Raghnall taking the verses from Our Earth Was Once Green, Dòmhnall singing the Gaelic bit and the riff from Skye and Ruairidh the Story’s English choruses. It’s kind of like that bit with One Day More in Les Mis.

Secondary Antagonist DJ MacTung turns up on his Harley Davidson, with Always The Winner blaring as Cheerleaders fawn over him like Gaston in Beauty and the Beast. He is soon approached by Magaidh Ocho Meallt to help her nefarious plan for an eternal winter singin to hi Chì mi ‘n Geamhradh – this confuses DJ as he says “I can understand the Gaelic but I can’t speak it”

John Norman and Seonag must stop Magaidh Ocho Meallt from getting her hands on An t-Ubhal Às Àirde which can be found back in the original An Toll Dubh back on the Isle of Skye. The only way of getting there is a small SpaceFerry run by Galexedonian Mac a’ Venusian called the MV StarFerry Loch Lomond and they must ravel via the Low Road Warp Tunnel that triangulates with Lochmaddy. The musical subverts the classic bombast of Loch Lomond into a gentle folk song, and we are sung snippets of The Ferry and Air A’ Chuan by the supporting cast who play the Crew.

Little do they know that Magaidh Ocho Meallt and DJ MacTung are hot on their trail, singing Road Trip as they don their Ceilidh Boots and Once Were Looks to hunt down our heroes.

But as they reach the original Isle of Skye, they bop out triumphantly to Skye with the guitar breakdown lasting at least 15 minutes. Curtain!

Intermission

The Triumphant return is short lived. Seonag and and John Norman feel sad as they walk through the Empty Glens and when all hope is lost we meet Niall and Ailean, the last surviving crofters on Earth. Bachelor brothers the two of them, introduced with An Sabhal aig Nèill and Òran Ailein, An Sabhal aig Nèill is where Niall tells John Norman he must seek out The Heart of Olden Glory which can only be found in the forbidden glen which no one has been at for 1000 years. It can only be awakened by singing the songs of old Earth Gaelic Rock Group Runrig. Niall and Ailean have kept things going for many years, and sing Hearts of Olden Glory which inspires Seonag and John Norman to continue their quests.

Refreshed, Seonag and John Norman head out towards the Forbidden Glen. Magaidh Ocho Meallta and DJ MacTung are hot on their trail though. Magaidh sings Move A Mountain, as she blows up the Quiraing trying to find them with DJ’s Everlasting Gun.

Through all this drama our young protaganists grow closer and , lovely Melodramatic scene between Seonag is punctuated by them singing Tear Down These Walls at each other. She thinks that he’ll always want to leave annd return to the Cutter life but he says that He’ll Keep Coming Home. The walls of romance fall down and they are serenaded by the female members of the company who sing Pòg Aon Oidhche Earraich.

We follow their journey to the Forbidden Glen as they overcome obstacles together, and we are treated to a duet on Every River that has the audience in tears.

John Norman has to leave Seonag behind and go Thairis Air A’ Ghleann (sung by John Norman) where Only The Brave (Sung by Seonag) walk alone.

Seonag is captured by DJ and is about to be shot by DJ’s Everlasting Gun when she is saved by her Fathers! It turns out Goraidh, Raghnall, Ruairidh and Dòmhnall are all her and her sisters’ fathers, and she is the result of genetic grafting. They work out that they all went to the Moon Fertility Clinic on the same Maymorning, they sing that they are Alive Again!

Seonag is delighted but celebration is short as John Norman has reached the An t-Ubhal As Àirde, and Magaidh Ocho Meallt decides to turn her Satellite Flood on Earth, if she can’t have all the crofts on Earth and the Moon, no one can. John Norman filled with the Greatest Flame of the Hearts of Olden Glory knows that the only answer is to ask for help from a Higher Power. He says a wee prayer and sings An t-Ubhal As Àirde. Whether it’s God, or the Universe, Magaidh is unable to help herself and manages to press the wrong button.

As Magaidh is crushed by her own Satellite Flood, and everyone else escapes to safety on Marsco, a lady from the Crofters Commission arrives to say that they’ve finally cleared the backlog of absentee crofter complaints after 1000 years and that Magaidh’s crofts in Old Skye will be redistributed to everyone who is currently on the Moon! Goraidh finds an old Gaelic roadsign, Cille Mhoire/Kilmuir! MacPherson is in Kilmuir tonight! Great celebration!

All the fathers sing Recovery mashed up with Chì mi ‘n Tìr, never dreaming that they could afford a piece of land on their ancestral planet! John Norman proposes to Seonag, which causes some classic Fathers of the Bride joke during An Rèiteach about who’ll pay for it, and that they’ll probably have to decroft a bit of the new croft to pay for the Wedding. (which of course descends into playing a bit of Loch Lomond!)

As the Sgitheanachs return from the Moon in the MV StarFerry Loch Lomond to the real Isle of Skye, we are treated to a rendition of The Stamping Ground from the whole cast. Curtain Call. Danish fans finally crack a smile and clap.