Lewis Man Mistakes Fence for Wife

A man in Lewis has hit local news headlines for confusing his wife with an 115 yard wire fence for two years.

“I just thought she was really protective of the croft. Fucking neighbors are always trying to take a yard or two,” says Donald Angus MacKinnon of Croft 4, Cnockaird.

It is understood that his wife, Mrs MacLennan, began a new life in Tarbert in August 2013 under the alias “Miss MacLennan”.

Though initially disheartened, Mr MacLennan is surprised yet satisfied with the relatively recent turn of events:

“The new wife is very easy to maintain. Absolutely no bother at all.”

Local church leaders are united in their condemnation, though most have expressed relief that MacKinnon chose to marry a fence of the opposite sex.

The Western Isles Council, however, have cast doubt on the unconventional tryst after it emerged that MacKinnon had previously applied for planning consent for a “massive outdoor wife”.