“Let’s build lots of Nuclear Power Stations in the Highlands, just not this part of the Highlands” says Councillor.

Highland Councillors have decided that Hydro schemes in Glen Etive are old hat, as the collective bunch of retired busybodies, ex-teachers and business-people with a flair for the creative backed a Conservative amendment to the Council’s energy scheme to call for the building of more Nuclear Power stations in the Highlands.

Asked why his party put forward the amendment, a Tory Councillor said “We genuinely just like choosing all the dickhead policies and offering them as one toxic bunch, but we know a good whack of roaster will vote for it because they hate Nicola Sturgeon, Gaelic Road-signs and the Polish lad who stacks the shelves in the Co-op.”

“Don’t worry, true to our form as opportunistic bastards, we fully intend to oppose the building of the Power Station in our own wards, and will push for it to be somewhere like Merkinch. Nothing that affects the salmon and deer either.”

An independent councillor who also backed the amendment said “What can you pricks at the Daily Gael do? You’ll probably just do a Mr Burns from the Simpsons meme or something! No wait, maybe something about the fact that they could put it in Dingwall and no-one would notice if it was a nuclear wasteland anyway.”

Damn it. They might be on to us.