Kinlochewe Stores sells first ever Bottle of Sun Cream

History has been made in the village of Kinlochewe as local man Donald MacDonald bought a bottle of suncream – on purpose because it was sunny.

Kinlochewe soared to a record 25.8 degrees today, helped on by the gulf stream, some burning tyres at the top of the village and the effects of rampant global warming.

“I was shocked, shocked” exclaimed shop assistant Morag “beeps” MacDuffy.

“When he asked for the cream I had assumed he was trying to make a carbonara. Donald Duncan MacDonald is known for his continental fancies in the village.”

The first bottle ever purchased mistakenly was swiftly returned after a resident eager to please their new partner misread the bottle as “fun cream.”

“This is the life” sighed Donald the happy customer while huffing from an ice cold can of red diesel in his garden.”

“I’m down to my thinnest jumper and thanks to this bottle of sun cream – that I’ve just drank in a oner – I can stay out as long as I like. “