Islands enjoying rare Double Sabbath

People across Lewis and Harris are celebrating a rare “double Sabbath” at a noise level undetectable to their neighbours.

Double Sabbaths only come around a few times a year and are widely regarded as the “bonus level” of Christianity.

“I can get the kind of repenting and atoning done that would be unthinkable on a run of the mill Sabbath. Excellent” said Free Church Elder, Donald.

“Two solid days of roast beef and Radio nan Gàidheal. Pinch me I must be dreaming.”

Lewis and Harris are one of the last strongholds of Sabbath observance in Northern Europe. The practice has come under fire from people who hate sitting about, being holy.

“Let’s go close the gym!” exclaimed Donald like a child on Christmas morn.