Island Granny whacking the heating up to 11

Island Grannies are taking advantage of the cold snap to take their central heating systems to the next level and slow cook their visiting relatives.

“Jesus, Granny Effie has found the boost switch. She’s boiling potatoes and ironing in there. It’s over 52 degrees!” said one concerned relative.

“Please don’t try and interview me, I am hiding from her in the fridge” said another.

“I love having all the family over and they can’t leave if they pass out from heatstroke” said Effie Anne from Bornish.

“Last year for Christmas I knitted them lovely tight jumpers that they can’t take off. They are really sweating in there now. Lovely.”

“I love it when it gets cold so I can be uncomfortably warm.”

Effie Anne’s family raised the alarm after spotting her placing weapons grade plutonium in the living room stove and wrapping her grandchildren in loft insulation.