Island councils crapping it over Brexit

Scotland’s Island Councils, Orkney, Shetland and Western Isles have suddenly realised that they are f*cked with the UK about to go off the political equivalent of the cliffs at Mangersta so they’ve banded to together to make a press release that the UK Government will ignore.

A Comhairle nan Eilean spokesman said “Last time we did an Our Islands Our Future thing, we got them to make sure Shetland wasn’t in a box on the map. So this time, I dunno, maybe we’ll get nice pin badges or maybe a bar on the ferry again?”

The UK Governments Shared Prosperity Fund has been proposed to fill the gap caused by the loss of EU funding. A spokesperson for the UK Government said “Yes, you share your oil prosperity with us from Shetland and Orkney, and we’ll share the shooting and fishing rights in Na h-Eileanan an Iar. There’s a good bunch of chaps.”