Inverness Man not sure which New Year’s Resolution he broke first last night

Having  decided to give up alcohol, dairy products, gluten and his ex girlfriend Siobhan in 2018, Colin MacLeod of Inverness woke up  hungover this morning covered in cheese and breadcrumbs in Siobhan’s bed.

“It is not yet apparent which one of Collin’s 4 pointless resolutions he f*cked first” said  Chief Inspector Malcolm Boab.

“The lesson here is don’t try and better yourself if you live in Inverness.”

Colin was last seen leaving an Inverness pub spinning a loaf of Hovis above his head while screaming; “look Siobhan I’m a wind farm, how do you like me now?”

“He was covered in cheese and breadcrumbs when he arrived – like a human pasta bake” claimed Siobhan.

“Be yourself, but be your best self” advised Colin.